change is good....

you know, i knew this one was different... yes, i learned what it's like to be "in love" not just to love someone, but i also learned something that i knew deep down in my heart for a few months... no matter how much you love someone, love is about sacrifice and compromise, sometimes the hardest thing to do is let go because you love that person so much. (thank you Josh for helping to point that out for me!)

I have been a crutch for months... i have been there, and yet again, i was in a one-sided relationship... does that change the fact that i loved this man for 10 months of my life? no, not at all... would i take it all back? no, not at all... does it make it hurt any less? no, it doesn't... i feel like i'm dying... i knew it was over, i just didn't want to admit it... i am not trying to have a cavalier attitude about it and i'm not trying to be strong so that people will say "Oh my, look at her, she just got her heart broken and she is doing so well." I am hurting, inside and out, but because of that, i picked up the phone and called my friends... they were great, so for that I thank you all....

from Sugar Ray's "When It's Over"
All the things that I used to say
All the words that got in the way
All the things that I used to know
Have gone out the window

I do love you Ben... I hope you find happiness in your life... I wish that i could have been a part of it on a level more than friendship... but i am happy to have you in my life as my friend.... so, yeah, i knew this one was different... just didn't think it would end up like this