do i have "alcoholic magnet" tattooed on my forehead?

i swear... what is it about me? why does it seem that there is always SOMETHING... i learned alot about dealing with an alcoholic in my last relationship, and in this one, i have found that i am much stronger than i was before... i can tell you, i'm definitely not putting up with the amount of shit i did before... but damn, man...

it's funny, because greg gets upset when i compare him to ben, but i'm not comparing him, i'm comparing his behaviors to ben...and i see the same behaviors in greg when he has been drinking that i saw in ben....

all i have to say is ugh...

i do know that i can't go thru another weekend like i did this weekend. and i told him that... i have 3 choices...

1. continue on like nothing is wrong
2. kick him to the curb
3. rehab - to which i will go, and i will be there for support

the thing is, he doesn't see what his behavior is doing to the people that love him... all he sees is him... again, i say... ugh....

and with that, i'm spent...

new music friday

today's new music comes from my new favorite magazine... paste. this disc is not my favorite of the ones i have received so far, but it's still good... i really like samplers anymore, because it does turn you on to stuff that you wouldn't typically listen to... gives you just a taste... for instance, i have really enjoyed the josh ritter that has been on samplers... this one has umphrey's mcgee on it, and it's pretty good... anyway, take a listen...

new music friday... better late than never

sorry for the delay in getting this out, but it's been quite a weekend! Anyway, today's music is FAR from new, but it's WONDERFUL... I remember when i was 16 going to the movies to see this... Talking Heads "Stop Making Sense." The DVD is amazing and the soundtrack is incredible. I have said it before, and i will say it again... David Byrne is a friggin' genius...

new music friday

today's new music is from....PHISH!! this is the bonus cd that came with my Phish Live in Brooklyn dvd! I LOVE this disc! It hasn't been out of the cd player much since receiving it! At the beginning of track 6 and in between the remaining tracks on the disc, you will hear "fluffhead" teases... and it's lovely... o, what i would have given to see or hear one more fluffhead before they were gone... alas, teases are all i have, but it works for me!!

what do you mean "do something?"

ever had that feeling that you were drowning, and you just couldn't get to the top of the water to get the air? i feel as if my life is completely out of my hands, and i don't know how to get my hands back around it... i'm spiraling out of control, and i haven't felt like this in a long time... and to be honest, i don't like it.

i feel like a puppet... going thru the motions to make every other fucker in this world happy but me (sorry for the rudeness, but i watched shaun of the dead this weekend, and that quote just kind of stuck... it goes something like this)

Liz - "if i don't do something, i'm gonna spend the rest of my life in this bar with the rest of these sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened"
Shaun - "what do you mean, do something?"

i don't know, all i know is that right now, BESIDES being horribly sick (stress related,) i feel completely out of control...

o well, i guess this too shall pass... always does, one way or another

new music friday

today's new music is from BONNAROOOOOOOOO!!!!! 'roo 2004 to be exact! I love these discs, and i am anxiously awaiting the release of last years discs... anyway, this 2 disc set is lovely. dylan, dave, dead, david byrne (a genius, btw!) trey, damien rice... so many great artists! bonnaroo is definitely evolving from a tradtional "hippie" fest into a true musical experience for anyone... this past festival headlined radiohead and tom petty... not your typical hippies! anyway, yet another great disc from the promoters of 'roo! keep brining it!