clean underwear needed

went to the cardiologist today, haven't been there since 2009, needed a refill... well, basically that was just a scam to get my $30 co-pay! ekg fine, bp fine, everything fine... so, do i still need to take these heart meds? who knows.... go see your regular doctor and if he wants you to still take them go ahead... WTF ever!

today is the start of a long complicated week.... today wasn't too bad, felt productive yet completely unfulfilled... love it love it love it... not really

get this phone call today from my sister in law - they had to take my momma to the ER, she is having a hard time breathing... well 50 years of smoking a pack a day, bad lungs, bad heart... you know, the perils of getting old... talked to my brother and they are doing a bunch of test on her now, so many good vibes being sent to my momma... i miss her so much, ugh!

the scale was good to me though today... hit a new middle number that i haven't seen since 2007, so that's exciting! i go to the weight loss doc on wednesday, so here is hoping the scale continues to be good to me on wednesday!

ok, well home from work, need to do a load of laundry, or 12... but alas, i'm outta underwear so at least one needs done!

later pholks

what a week... can i get another weekend day please?

it's been a crap week... there really isn't any other way to describe it.... and i really think this coming up week will be just as crap filled.

do go to the doc on monday and wednesday... monday to see if is still need to take my heart meds, and wednesday to the surgeon, i'm hoping to be at least 4 pounds down by then

katie goes on tuesday to find out about her blood pressure....

we are starting to look for rentals to get out of the apartment around tax time... so if anyone knows of any rentals on the east side or the northeast, let me know!!

well, i think my oatmeal is ready, so off i go

have a great sunday
later pholks

minus 50

Today I hit -50!! This is a pretty big milestone for me. Fifty pounds lost since October 12, 2010, so just a hair over 3 months! Hoot! I have 58 more pounds to go to hit my goal weight, which is the “fake” weight on my Illinois Driver’s license (thank you Texas for not putting our weight on our drivers’ license!) and 78 pounds to hit my “stretch” goal, which is the real original weight on my DL.

When I hit my goal weight, I am getting myself a new tattoo. Don’t know what or where yet, but I do know that is my gift to myself.

Today isn’t the best of days though; my tummy really hurts today, as it has for about a month now. I don’t think it has anything to do with the surgery, but about everything else that goes into being Lucy. I think I’m worrying too much about things, and stressing about things out of my control. I need to learn to let go, which has been a work in progress, and I will say that the meds help with this, but there are still some things that are easier said than done.

One thing that I have discovered about myself during this process is that I am caring more about my overall appearance, such as nails, make up, skin care and such. As I have said before, I’m on the lookout for a new haircut, and my friend Tesa has started doing my nails for me every couple of weeks with this cool shellac stuff and man o man does it last, it’s wonderful! If it wasn’t for my nails growing, it would last a good month with no chips or wear, plus it’s o so shiny! I just need to find a good solid cleanser for my skin and a nice fake tanner, because my legs, ooooh weee… they need some sun, or at least some fake sun!!!

I watched the golden globes last night, and all I can say is that I want to be British! LOL! Ricky Gervais was hilarious in my opinion, and I was also able to make my list of must see movies… that’s one of the things I love about this time of year… first up on the list is the Social network. Which I have wanted to see since it came out, but just never made it.

Katie goes back to the doctor next week to find out about her blood pressure, then in 4 weeks we will get to find out the sex of the baby – I can’t believe that there is going to be another baby in the house. We are hoping she is having a girl (at least that’s what grandma is hoping for!!!) Marquis said that he wants a little sister, so that would be lovely if she has a girl.

Sarah will be getting her braces off in a couple of months, then she will be turning 16! I can’t believe my baby will be 16! Then of all things, she is getting her license…. Holy cow! I was speaking to her this morning about college and if her plans are still to try to get to Arizona, but she’s not sure… she’s actually thinking about the Air Force, which I think is a great idea.

Marquis is getting ready to grow – he’s eating us out of house and home. This kid is so funny – the expressions he makes, omg, keeps Katie and me laughing all the time! He’s just hilarious and he’s getting so big! He’s 4 going on 20, I swear!

It’s all quiet on the dating front… and I’m ok with that… when it’s time, it will happen, can’t lie, hope it does soon, but if not, oh well

Well, I am ramblin’ on, so I guess I will stop…..

Later pholks

1/11/11

man, i am tired.

it's been a long day, then ran some errands after work and went to dinner with katie, marquis and lacy... we had a lovely time, and dinner was very good, but boy o boy am i sleepy... plus, it's cold, for southwest texas that is.... and been that way all day. now, granted we don't have the snow that a lot of places have but it's chilly, so i just want to get in my jammies and crawl in bed.

work was long, and meeting filled today and i feel like i didn't get anything done, even though i did. so, hopefully tomorrow i will fill like i have accomplished more.

today would have been matt's 39th birthday... i miss him dearly... much love to you mr. benson!

so,1/11/11 won't come around again for what 100 years or something like that, so i hope the ones were good to everyone....

nite pholks

guilty pleasures

considering the anniversary of my dad's passing seven years ago, today has been a decent day.

got a lot accomplished at work today, the scale was good to me, and i feel pretty... i know, silly, but i do.

katie and marquis are getting ready to head out for a bit, so i'm gonna spend a few hours in my bed catching up on the dvr with my new guilty pleasure - my fair wedding with david tutera. why am i watching wedding shows when i haven't had a date in years? who knows, but it truly is a guilty pleasure!

i came home to the sound of laughter in the house. katie and marquis were playing and he was just laughing and laughing. there is nothing like the sound of a child laughing. and just think, we will have another one in the house in a few short months. it will be here before you know it.

it amazes me how much more calm i am now that my meds are back in my system.... note to self - do not let the prescription run out again!!

ok, well my jammies are paging me along with the remote control....

later pholks

definition of chillin'

today has been, eh, blah.. and that's ok...

i have spent all day in my jammies and pretty much either laid on the couch or in my bed. katie had a few things to do today, as she needs to go put stuff on layaway. i'm going to be a grandma again, baby is due in july, so katie and her friend lacy are out window shopping for all things baby. marquis and i all chilling at home...

of course, chillin to marquis and to me are two diffent things... he thinks that means destroying the living room and watching ren & stimpy, along with acting a donkey over the ipod. my idea of chillin is to take a nap and lay in bed. he won.

i was semi-hopeful about having a date this weekend, however that fell thru, and i'm ok with that.... if you want to be with me, you can be with me 7 days a week, not just monday thru friday... i will find the right guy eventually...

and it's funny, cuz you say to said guy, yeah, i'm a grandma and they are all like, wow, that's cool, blah blah blah, but then when you remind them that you are home with your grandson they all freak out... it's just all very funny to me... and kinda sad.... lol

i wish that you could just skip past the whole "get to know you" stuff and bypass date number one to move into a better comfort zone that comes with date number 2.... hell, i guess i have to get to date 1 first....

ren & stimpy are almost over, thank God... gonna finish my glass of wine and off to bed i go...

nite pholks

5 day work weeks suck

this is the first week that in a couple where i had to work 5 days, and boy, it sucked!!!

it's been an interesting one, i put my profile up on a couple of sites to see if there was any out there, and the one thing i have learned this week is that men are just as insecure as women are

it's quite interesting actually... if you have never done the "online dating" thing, you probably won't get it... this is like my 3 or 4 time trying this... obviously i haven't had a lot of luck at this

you get a quick burst of emotion when you get a new message, hope comes into play, could this be the one... you can be happy, you can be sad if you don't get a message... if you weren't bi-polar before trying online dating, you may be when it's done....my irritation meter spikes a lot quicker than and my bullshit meter is constantly spinning it seems

it's been an interesting week for this dating thing, not sure how it will all turn out, nor do i really care... i know, positive thoughts, blah blah blah... but if it's time for me, then it will happen, if it's not, then it's not....

back to the long week... it's been a long week and my jammies are quite comfy... i think i will stay in them all weekend!!!

I am bloody Ibiza!

Actually no i am not bloody Ibiza, however just about everything that i have read today has brought me to the quote that is the title of this blog.

The quote is from the movie "About A Boy" and it stars Hugh Grant. It happens to be one of my favorite movies also. basically will (hugh grant) is a guy that has never had to work a day in his life due to living off the royalties of a one hit wonder holiday song his dad wrote. will is very shallow and doesn't have any real relationships in his life. in the opening scene will talks about "no man is an island" which is now where we are in this blog.

so, i read my horoscope for the day, and here it is:
"Nobody is an island -- it's an obvious statement to say that you need relationships to get you through life. Other people provide the acid to your base, and can often be a perfect sounding board for your ideas. But in order to make the deep connections you need for total honesty, you must develop trust. The only way to do this is to take a risk and let someone in. So reach out today -- lower your drawbridge and invite someone to cross your moat."

so, i'm reading this and saying... yeah, i know.... i'm trying.... and then the quotes start coming to me from the movie....

Every man is an island. I stand by that. But clearly some men are island CHAINS. Underneath, they are connected...
Marcus: [thinking] I used to think two was not enough. But now things are great; there are loads of people... I don't know what Will was so pissed about. I don't think couples are the future. The way I see it now, we both got back-up now. It's like that thing Jon Bon Jovi said: 'No man is an island.'

i know, this is random and all over the place... so, then i get home and go to my facebook to see what God wants me to know today, and here it is:
On this day of your life, Lucy, we believe God wants you to know ... that it's time to STOP going through the motions of living, and START living. Are you willing to do that now? Or are you going to wait until all life energy drains out of you and your loved ones who are trying to support you at this very moment? You were not born to follow rules and regulations. Living starts with dreaming. So dream, dream friend, and let dreams show you the path to your bliss.

yeah, so basically the planets and God are telling me it's time...

2011 motto - suck less

so, i'm sitting in our morning beat down, and rodney says, well hopefully we sucked less today than yesterday... and it hit me at that point - my motto for 2011 is "suck less"!!! that's really what we all want right? just to suck less than we did the previous year...

so, i got back to my desk, opened up microsoft word, threw in some auto shapes and made me a logo!! then i laminated it and posted it in my office... so, now i can see it all the time - suck less....

pretty much sums it up for the day....

here is the logo... very boring i know, but it goes along with our advertising for 2011... yes, how thoughtful am i that i made sure my suck less logo matches our advertising?! lol

day three of 2011 - can i have a do over please?

i have had a tough emotional day today, things bubbling up that really didn't need to bubble... i'm not a lava lamp for fuck sake...

day started off bad... i wasn't able to fall asleep until about 1am... then what time do i wake up? 4am. yes, three entire hours of sleep... it would be different if i slept like the dead during those three hours, but alas i didn't... so i get up, which was probably stupid in itself, and come out to the old computer.... (hello, my name is lucy and i'm a junkie) i then proceed to play stupid games on facebook until it's time to get up at 530, then it's off to work i go

and boy o boy, it was cold this morning...my poor little fingers were frozen by the time i got to work, which consequently was the same time my car decided it was warmed up.... friggin slacker!

day is humming a long and then some assbag decides to mess it up for me... now, you say, what did this said assbag do?

well, i guess it just boils down to the difference between men and women, and that whole she said, he heard thing... basically to keep it clean for the children, he said hi, i said hi... so far so good, right? he said how are you, i said fine and you.... yes, a well oiled machine this conversation is.... he said do you like the cubs,i say, no, i like the cardinals (this is where i'm cleaning up the conversation) he said, but the cubs are really good, i said well, you can think that, but i still don't like them, i like the cardinals. he said do you want to see the cubs, i say NO THANKS, i want to see the cardinals. again, you know you want to see the cubs, i say, thank you but no, i want to see the cardinals, thank you for the offer though... AGAIN he says, but you will really like the cubs... i say LOOK, I DON'T WANNA SEE THE CUBS I WANT TO SEE THE CARDINALS, thank you for the conversation, but no cubs for me. YET AGAIN... i'm sorry, but i really think you will want to see the cubs. SEE ASSBAG!!!

now, hindsight being 20/20 and all, did said assbag truly mess up my day for me? no... but assbag did remind me of why i haven't had a date in almost 3 years..... then that made me think of something else, which in turn made me think of something else, which led me to www.livephish.com to listen to some phish.... and what all did they play today - seemed like a whole bunch of old stuff that i saw on BSM many years ago, which reminded me of different times, and old friends.... then i got sad....

so, after a marathon conference call and a well deserved smoke, i came home... i'm gonna crawl in bed and get under the covers and request my do over for today... well, not really, i will just go onto the next, but sometimes a do over would be lovely

nite pholks

day two of 2011

2011 is starting off organized... i think

i worked yesterday and we were so busy (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) that i cleaned out my desk drawers, color coded my calendar and filed some paperwork. now, in the whole grand scheme of things, there were probably a million more productive things i COULD have done, but yeah, didn't happen - instead i turned up the tunes, danced in my office and got "busy work" done.

today has been busy as well - i have a been doing laundry all day - and STILL have more to do - this has all been accomplished while watching 5 hours of VH1's top 100 artists of all time. that has been a fun journey, i will say that

the thing about doing laundry that i ABSOLUTELY despise is that now i will have to go put all of this away... i hate putting laundry away, but i'm going to TRY to be more efficient this year and do things as they happen versus letting polly procrastination take over... so far so good (day two mind you!)

i had an epiphany today while watching the meatstick video... i NEED to see phish on NYE!!! i also realized how much i need music in my life... i always have but i remembered today how important it is to me... so, i'm hoping for a short spring run with a little roadtrip or a cheap southwest flight in my future.... grandma needs to get her dancing shoes on

i have also been looking for a new hairstyle... i know, random subject change! i'm trying to let my hair grow, so it's getting long, but it also has just no life in it right now... so on the quest i go to find a new style

going back to the gym on thursday, so let's jumpstart this metabolism! i have a goal to be down 50 pounds by the time i go back to the doctor, which is like january 19 or something... when i hit that goal, i will then set my next goal, as goal setting for personal gain has not been a success for me in the past!

well, more laundry to fold and a glass of wine in my near future...

nite pholks!