Reversed Perceptions

today's Daily OM

Projecting

We all have issues, as well as undesirable qualities or traits that we don'tlike about ourselves. Most of us realize that we are not perfect and that it isnatural to have unpleasant thoughts, motivations, desires, or feelings. However,when a person does not acknowledge these, they may ascribe those characteristicsto someone else, deeming other people instead as angry, jealous, or insecure. Inpsychological terms, such blaming and fault finding is called projection.

When we are the target of projections, it can be confusing and frustrating, notto mention maddening, particularly when we know that we are not the cause ofanother person's distress. Even people who are well aware of their issues mayfind that sensitive subjects can bring up unexpected projections. They may feelinsecure about a lack of funds and thus view a friend as extravagant. Or, ifthey really want to get in shape, they may preach the benefits of exercise toanyone and everyone.

While we can try to avoid people we know who engage in projecting their "stuff"onto others, we can't always steer clear of such encounters. We can, however,deflect some projections through mindfulness and meditation. A usefulvisualization tool is to imagine wrapping ourselves in a protective lighteveryday. At other times, we may have to put up a protective shield when we feela projection coming our way, reminding ourselves that someone else's issues arenot ours. Although it's difficult not to react when we are the recipient of aprojection, it is a good idea to try to remain calm and let the other personknow if they are being unreasonable and disrespectful. We all know that it's notfun to be dumped on. Likewise, we should be mindful that we don't take our ownfrustrations out on others. When we take ownership of our thoughts, motivations,desires, and feelings, we are less likely to project our issues or disownedqualities onto others.